Spork - Staying In - Novelty Chess Sets

Novelty chess sets that don't suck

tack·y 2 P ) Pronunciation Key (t k )
adj. Informal tack·i·er, tack·i·est

Neglected and in a state of disrepair: a tacky old cabin in the woods.

Lacking style or good taste; tawdry: tacky clothes.
Distasteful or offensive; tasteless: a tacky remark.
Of or relating to novelty chess sets

Dear god, why?

There's no denying it, most novelty chess sets are shite. While the game itself may be one of the most refined of all intellectual pursuits, the actual trappings of the game often veer well off the straight and narrow path of good taste. A Tolkien-themed set may have seemed novel and charming in days gone by, but we now live in an age when you can't set foot in the games department of Hamleys without being smothered under an avalanche of Bilbo Baggins and all his naff pals lined up on chequerboard. And don't even get me started about some of the tat that specialist chess suppliers can sort you out with over the internet.

But despair not! We here at Spork have managed to tunnel through the impregnable buildup of novelty crapola and bring back some true nuggets of chess excellence:

Lego Chess

Spork likes LEGO. And I'm not just saying that because i'm being keenly watched as I type by a LEGO Darth Vader standing sentry on top of my computer monitor. Somehow even the evilest man in the universe comes across as cute when our favourite Danish toymakers stamp their mark on him. So imagine how cute a whole miniature army of LEGO can be.

Quite apart from the cutesy overload, the LEGO chess set has some excellent practical bonuses which improve game play. For example, I know of no other chess sets on the market where you can actually pull the head off your opponent's king and parade it around the board on a spear when you win.

~~Buy it from the LEGO site~~ Looks like LEGO have stopped stocking this, but you can still get it from plenty of other retailers:

LEGO Chess Sets on Froogle

Paper Chess

The worlds most portable chess set? Quite possibly. This little beauty comes as a pdf file. Simply print it out and get to work with a pair of scissors. A few minutes later you've got a complete chess set. If you're really keen you could scan a chess board and reduce that to paper as well. Just don't go sneezing halfway through the game...

Download the .pdf file

Magnetic Fridge Chess

Chess is a game that rewards careful planning. And what better way to draw your game out than to stick it to the one appliance that everyone keeps coming back to: the fridge.

Those of us not blessed with the most incisive of chess minds can ponder our next move gradually, our plans gestating over our morning coffee. Dastardly strategies can hatch slowly, and the game can take on an epic stature. The flat white plain of your fridge door becomes the battlefield where cerebral giants battle for dominance in a struggle to the death. Mwahahahaahaaa!

Ahem. It also comes nattily packaged like milk, and has a very handy “whose turn is it?” counter. Tastes awful on your corn flakes, though.

You can get your own from here.

Origami Chess

More paper chess, but this time a lot fiddlier. Really clever stuff, although you may need a few extra fingers grafted on if you want to produce anything that doesn't look like small paper car crash.

Full instructions here

DIY Nuts & Bolts Chess

Who says you need to fork over huge cash to have a bespoke chess set? This guy has made his own one from nuts and bolts. I really like this one. This is the chess set for the renaissance man, as happy wielding a MIG welder as he is locked in cerebral combat. The only drawback could be that crucial parts of your attacking strategy could end up being diverted to fix that wobbly headboard in the spare bedroom. And watch out for your swine of an opponent cunningly arsing around with strong magnets concealed under the table.

Photos here

Vertical Chess

Done well chess sets can be works of art, and rightfully take pride of place amongst your decor. The trouble is, just how much pride of place they can take up.

That's where the clever blokes behind Straight Up Chess come in. Clocking in at an impressive 1m tall, this vertical chess set can dominate a room without actually rendering it impossible to use. They also sell some nice chunky matching chess pieces in a range of materials.

Excellently, they will custom make a board for any size of piece, and there's a wide selection of different woods and frames.

Check out the Straight Up Chess online store.