Time Cube

Time Cube is one of the most popular and enduring personal sites on the internet, yet while trying to write this article, I was struck by a serious problem. How do I explain what Time Cube is to my readers, when Time Cube itself is so inexplicable? I can pretty much guarantee that no matter how I try to explain it, you will never, ever get your head around what the hell Time Cube is. In fact, I don’t understand the slightest bit of it myself. But as you see when you read on, that’s sort of the point.

Time Cube is the result of the mind of Gene Ray. Gene is quite an extraordinary bloke, a fact he clearly agrees with, as he is prone to describing himself as “the wisest human ever”. That’s a pretty big call, but luckily he’s got some hefty firepower to back it up with.

To qualify for mega-genius status your brain needs to be producing output at a level way above the comprehension level of the rest of us mere mortals. Einstein published his Theory of General Relativity way back in 1915, yet it’s still complete gobbledygook to almost everyone. Gene Ray must be a step above Einstein then, because although his writings have been available for only a few years, they are understood by even less people

Take for example the central principle of Time Cube:

"1 rotation of 4 Earth quadrants within the 4 quarter Harmonic Time Cube creates 4 simultaneous 24 hr. days"

Now, I don’t know about you, but I haven’t the faintest clue what that means. The fun part of Time Cube is that it almost sounds plausible. I firmly believe that within the mind of Gene Ray, Time Cube really is true, and makes perfect sense. The site is not a parody, he really does believe what he’s saying. The problem is that Gene Ray has a brain like an Escher drawing. The trick is trying to warp your own point of view enough so that Time Cube becomes sensible. It’s infuriating, as the concept seems so nearly comprehensible. Yet every time you feel like you’re starting to get it, it slips out of reach. It's gloriously maddening.

Coupled to this, Mr Ray does have some entertainingly bonkers views about race, education, and religion. For me though, these are less novel and interesting than his brilliantly crackpot ideas about time. After all, stupid opinions about race and religion are a dime a dozen on the web. Ray makes up ground against the effect of such mundane arpa-ramblings by displaying a masterful grasp of idiosyncratic font and colour use. Readability clearly plays second fiddle to impact in the world of Gene Ray web design.

So next time you’re surfing for the outer limits of humanity’s weirdness on the internet, spare a moment for Time Cube. There’s an abundant crop of weird sites out there, but few have been so loving crafted by someone who is so clearly stark, raving bonkers as Time Cube.

Gene Ray, we salute you!

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